“So, do you have any siblings?”
A innocent question
Which cuts like a knife.
I panic.
“No.”
“Oh, so you’re an only child?
How was that?”
My heart races.
I make up something
And quickly change the subject.
The guilt of this interaction
Weighs on me for weeks.
Why was I not brave enough?
To claim him, share his story?
After all the people I’ve met
Since he left seven years ago-
Somehow this question
Still does that to me.
Grief is a changeling .
A teacher, a wrecking ball, a friend.
There will always be moments
That shake me to my core.
My prayer is they will guide me
Towards a deeper love.
Tag: spirituality
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I saw a picture of me
From 7 years ago
A tiny wisp of a thing
Like a strong wind might
Knock me right over.
I took a lot of stock
In that type of thing
Back then.
The less space I took up,
The better.
Now I’ve got pounds
From each of my babies
Clinging to my bones.
My hips, breasts, skin stretched
To accommodate them.
There are days
I relish past memories.
That look, energy, freedom.
Then I remember the miracle
God did with my body
To create this family.
Whatever I thought
Back then
Is but a whisper
Compared to what is now. -
Your blond head heavy on my thigh
Sleeping deeply in your baby way
In this rare, peaceful moment of time
I take a brief minute to prayLord, thank you this precious treasure
A gift much rarer than gold
This child’s value is too great to measure
Unlike a thing to be bought or soldYou grew in my womb
Creating you with God’s magic
A tiny egg in a dark tomb
An ancient, indescribable relicI want to bottle up this sliver of time
Put it on like my favorite sweater
Beautiful enough to be a crime
Staring at you like a long lost letterBabies don’t keep, they say
Cliche and sadly true
I find myself grasping anyway
I will try to let go when it’s dueThe weight of that is mine to bear
A mystery for mothers alone
To grow you inside out
Knowing this time is on loanWho you will one day be
Is both entirely & not at all
Up to me
God don’t let me fall. -
Perfect fall day
Crisp, crunchy, calm
Pumpkin bread wafts lazily
Fear of unknown circumstance threatens to steal this joy.
No.
Remember my Savior who will never leave.
He was there through heart breaks before.
He knows pain intimately.
Gaze at my children eating pumpkin bread
A gift.
Kacie B. Sharpe 