I’ve started to embrace the grey skies
Instead of constant longing for sunshine
That’s where life usually lands
Most days I walk in the fog,
the uncertain conditions
That’s what grief is like
So much good left
Bright white
Splattered with midnight black
Moments that take your breath away
In the midst of intense joy
Your face flitters before my eyes
Your trouble, the sadness
Some say it makes moments sweeter
To know the bitterness
Happy moments aren’t meant to last
Though I do try
Continuum of losses & gains
The dark can shine, too.
Tag: loss
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I told Meme I like a wet crust
A child’s way of saying
A little fruit
A lot of under baked crust
She chuckles softly at my request
Her soft bosom pressed against my back
Holding me steady
Tip toed on an old rusty stool
At her aged linoleum counter
The old stove creaks
Groaning it’s way to 350
Taste of raw doe
Zaps the saliva off my tongue
Thirsty and happy
Meme’s soft instruction
Kneading crisco, cold water, flour
We make more of a mess
Than a dessert
Somehow it comes out delicious
My grandmothers magic
Afternoon snack of baked apples
In a flaky brown skin
A simple act now stamped
In perfect color from my memory -
i want to remember you as a young boy
one who laughed at his daddy
wanted the best gifts for his momma
worried over his sister’s suitors
the young man who rode dirt bikes
cried when his little beagle died
you were a soldier
fighting battles most would never understand
daily charging against your brain
that would never let you be.
you struggled, we struggled with you.
mental illness is a family affair.
what went unsaid right before
sometimes drives me mad.
you were loved, so very loved.
you know the fullness of that now
from the One who is Love.
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At times I’m scared to tell you
The thoughts swirling in my mind
What if they’re too joyous
Or too dark to process through?
They are scary for even me
When I become very honest
What does it mean to transform
My feelings into words and be free?
Can you really handle my truth
About death, depression, & loss?
Would you rather hear a little ditty
About love, laughter, and youth?
The questioning is part of the process
The digging and clawing through mire
To get down something, anything
The pen & paper a subtle protest
For you to read this is precious gold
A testament to the journey
But if you ever go away
I must learn still to be bold.
These words address my own heart
A gift that begins with me
And it is here alone
I will make my start.
Kacie B. Sharpe 