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The answer.

December 28th, 2023

I see myself

Standing still

Swirling colors around me

Like the world has gone in fast forward

And I have stayed on pause

I slowly glance around

Turning my head left….then right…

Turmoil stirs in my mind, my stomach lurches

For I know this world carries darkness

Pain

Yet I feel in my soul

My feet will not be moved

My body will not be shaken

For you hold me firm, still

You’ve planted me on a foundation that cannot be broken.

I breathe out and close my eyes

I know you will never leave me

You are the promise, the gift.

You are the answer.
August 15th, 2023

“Unless you’re writing something on the page, you’re not writing.”

-Margaret Atwood
Time

August 13th, 2023

Sometimes we say

What will we do?

We have an hour before bedtime

Unsure how to fill the minutes

For our children who need so much

Then I hold my oldest child

And realize he no longer fits in my lap

His gangly legs an awkward bundle

As I try to scrunch him down

Into the baby he was once

To be a parent

Is to do battle with time

We understand that it will exhaust us

Tantrums, sickness, “no you can’t do that”, tickles, chasing, stories, meal times, decisions, discipline

It’s work that you feel deep in your bones

Yet to also know

It is like trying to hold sand

And watch it fall uncontrollably through your fingertips.

As these babies grow and grow, farther into themselves and away from needing us.

Time, please show us grace.
Whimsy.

July 8th, 2023

I’m thirsty for whimsy

Something to snap me out of this haze

How can I find it

Right where I am

I need to be present, grounded

But my heart longs to lift away

Dreaming of a different landscape

A spontaneous adventure

It’s all talk

All planning

The reality is that it’s unrealistic

So instead I write

And tuck away the longing

Forcing myself to find magic

Here in front of me.